Are we Soul Mates?

Hi. I've been thinking (and dreaming) alot lately about an old friend of mine who I have always regarded as a soul friend.

I still feel him near me, especially in my dreams. And I still feel very much connected to him. But in reality, he lives as far away from me as he could possibly be, on the other side of the world.

When we were friends and lived in the same place, he could hold my hand and there was this amazing energy between us. We used to lose ourselves in each others eyes for long beautiful joyous periods of time. Once he ran his fingers up my spine and I swear my whole body lit up in a thousand light bulbs. It was extraordinary.

My connection to him is so strong it feels eternal, it feels ancient, it feels like kinship. But sometimes I wonder if I chose the right path. My instincts told me at the time, that we weren't meant for each other 'that way' , that somehow it felt wrong, too intense. And somewhere inside still, my gut tells me that me and this friend had different paths to travel, different lessons to learn.

So why do I still dream of my friend so much? Am I really connecting with him through my dreams? And if so, should I bring it up with him?

Sadly, we are only in touch by email these days. And our conversations are nothing more than surface life updates. It would be terribly hard to tell him how much he means to me, especially as I never had the guts to before. And would there really be any point now anyway? I'd love to hear your opinion on this. Thanks.



Dear Beenz,

I would like to touch the subject of Soul Recognition. This is the phenomenon that many people refer to as Love at First Sight and feeling like you know someone at a deeper level, and especially the way you describe. It's an amazing feeling, especially when chemistry is added to the mix.

Unfortunately, and I whimper as I say this, it doesn't mean you are meant to be with that person in a romantic alliance. "Soul Mates" is a very strong term that points to "destiny." But if you wind up apart, then you feel that you've been robbed or cheated of happiness, and that's not fair.

The problem here is your torn feelings, which is blocking you from enjoying your family 100%. Part of your mind is saying, "what if???" This can only drive you crazy. There are no mistakes, really, and you are with the person you need to be with.

Often, members of our spiritual "soul circle" come into our lives simply to reconnect or to help us open our hearts if we've shut them down in response to a hurtful situation. Sometimes these are the only ones who honestly can. Everyone else is so easy to reject; these people we cannot help but welcome into our hearts because the energy is coming from our soul DOWN to us. Most alliances borne in the intellect are often soon shredded and discarded. The soul attractions hold our attention. And this is okay. These are the experiences where we should be thankful to have had. They are deep, intimate and often indescribable. The caveat is that you cannot allow your ego to attach itself to an image or "potential." Some things require effort, as we here were encouraging you to do, but still others do not...not when it's meant to be.

At the very least, acknowledge this person as someone special. But don't allow the realm of fantasy so much power that it can stretch the experience to appear as a "loss." By any standards, it's surely a gain to have run into someone and recognized them at soul level. "Soul Mate" is a term that often leads to disappointment. While your husband has nothing to worry about, I worry that you will secretly wonder about what the past or future might have been, and will lose precious moments of Now, which is the true gift.

Either way, this person helped you along your path to your family. He is a blessing.

Love and Light,


Hi,I took the plunge, bit the bullet and contacted my friend today. Finally I let him know that he has meant a great deal to me and thanked him for having such an enormous and positive influence on me, my life and my spiritual awakening. I am pleased, and relieved that I have finally let him know. It would have been awful if , God forbid, anything happened to either of us without him knowing how I felt. I am hoping that by being honest with him and with myself and by openly acknowledging him as an important connection in my life, I will be better able to move on and embrace my life 100% with my husband and family now.

What you said Charlotte about members of our soul circle coming into our lives just when we need them to help us recover from past hurts, totally hit the nail on the head. And I do believe this is why I have been feeling so compelled to 'share my difficult journey' with him at this time. I recently lost my father and had been experiencing a pervasive sense of loss in my relationship with him, even before his death, and now it was becoming so overwhelming, I was seeing and experiencing ALL of my great losses more acutely. Including of course, this one. I have also been finding it very difficult to let anyone really "in" to me, apart from the ones I'd met before, like my friend, and who I felt completely safe and at ease with.

Now, nervously, I await a response or no response from him at all, either way, I will soon find out if my instincts about him have been correct, or if I have simply goldplated my memory of an old friend and projected my ideas of an ideal fantasy mate onto a distant past. I know now, whatever happens, that I am one step, even three steps closer to being able to let my husband totally in and fully experience the love I know he feels for me the way I was meant to.

Thank you for giving me the courage to embrace my instincts and my heart and cope with a very difficult transition in my own acceptance of my self; False Self, Real Self, Spiritual Self and all.

Many Blessings, love, light and peace.